Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
