Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
