yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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