You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
