I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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