Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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