We won't sleep together?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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