there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
