Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
