were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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