her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
