what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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