What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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