how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
