I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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