Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
