it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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