If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
