I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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