I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
