I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
