I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
