Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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