ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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