i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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