the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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