why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
