yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
