ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
