Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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