So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
