He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
