I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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