I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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