Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
