you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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