if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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