Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
