I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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