so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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