i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
