You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
