Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
