Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize