**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
