im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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