he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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