I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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