Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize