okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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