Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
