You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
