thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
