I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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