You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
