First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
