you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
